Thinking about divorce, negotiation, or mediation? I came across a good article that might offer some tips in negotiating your settlement.
When it comes to be time for your divorce you may be angry. Don’t get upset. An attorney can assess your situation and discuss your options. Going to court and having a judge decide your case should be a last resort for couples who are divorcing. It is exhausting and can become quite expensive not to mention the uncertainty of having a 3rd party decide your fate is a gamble. Not just that, but your soon to be ex-spouse is more likely to be cooperative with something that was agreed to rather then an order imposed by the court that they didn’t agree to.
Negotiating a settlement is a great way to go. It is much better if a settlement can be reached out of court. Let your attorney negotiate for you; don’t try to do it yourself. A professional in family law practice has the experience in these matters that can help you achieve your goals. Be prepared that you may not get everything you want.
Here are some tips the article gives on how to get the best outcome from negotiations:
• Set your priorities.
• Know what you are willing to be flexible on and what you are not willing to be flexible on.
• Be realistic.
• Ignore any ugliness from your spouse.
• If your spouse makes an offer to settle, talk about your options in private with your attorney.
• If you negotiate your own settlement, get legal advice before you sign anything.
If there are any legal questions you may have, I encourage you to, please contact my San Jose Divorce Lawyers office. My San Jose Family Lawyer offices assists many people who are going through family law related issues. We have many Affordable San Jose Divorce Lawyer solutions for many different budgets. We help many individuals through this very chaotic period in their life. Proudly serving the following cities, Fremont, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Mountain View, and Santa Clara.
Author's Notes
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Child Custody Rising Support for Joint Custody
According to a recent article, new studies show that the public favors equal custody of children whose parents have divorced.
According to the article, researchers cite polls and ballot initiatives which showed there was great public support for equal custody. Also, the majority of those who responded to surveys said they believe equally divided time was appropriate even when there were high levels of parental conflict for which both parents were equally to blame. Survey participants were asked to imagine they were a judge deciding on several hypothetical cases. In one case, the mother provided 75 percent of the couple’s pre-divorce child care-giving duties. In another, the father provided 75 percent of the couple’s pre-divorce child care-giving duties. And, in the third, the parental couple was described as having divided the pre-divorce child care 50-50.
The article goes on to say that the American family law system may be flawed in it's over representation of custody awards going to motherse and father's not being awarded a fair share of custodial time. The article seems to advocate for the state legislators across the country to change the family laws in different states to reflect the public preference for joint and equal custodial time with the children.
If there are any legal questions you may have, I encourage you to, please contact my San Jose Divorce Lawyers office. My San Jose Family Lawyer offices assists many people who are going through family law related issues. We have many Affordable San Jose Divorce Lawyer solutions for many different budgets. We help many individuals through this very chaotic period in their life. Proudly serving the following cities, Fremont, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Mountain View, and Santa Clara.
According to the article, researchers cite polls and ballot initiatives which showed there was great public support for equal custody. Also, the majority of those who responded to surveys said they believe equally divided time was appropriate even when there were high levels of parental conflict for which both parents were equally to blame. Survey participants were asked to imagine they were a judge deciding on several hypothetical cases. In one case, the mother provided 75 percent of the couple’s pre-divorce child care-giving duties. In another, the father provided 75 percent of the couple’s pre-divorce child care-giving duties. And, in the third, the parental couple was described as having divided the pre-divorce child care 50-50.
The article goes on to say that the American family law system may be flawed in it's over representation of custody awards going to motherse and father's not being awarded a fair share of custodial time. The article seems to advocate for the state legislators across the country to change the family laws in different states to reflect the public preference for joint and equal custodial time with the children.
If there are any legal questions you may have, I encourage you to, please contact my San Jose Divorce Lawyers office. My San Jose Family Lawyer offices assists many people who are going through family law related issues. We have many Affordable San Jose Divorce Lawyer solutions for many different budgets. We help many individuals through this very chaotic period in their life. Proudly serving the following cities, Fremont, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Mountain View, and Santa Clara.
Navigating Summer Timeshare and Divorce
When going through your plans for the summer, navigating the complicated schedules and short time periods can be difficult to say the least. When you are divorced make it doubly difficult. Trying to make summer time plans for the kids? It can be complicated if your divorced and trying to work out plans for the summer. It’s hard to coordinate! Here are some tips and an article I recently found offers some advice:
1. Start communicating early. Talk with your ex about things you feel you may want to plan. Find out what they want to do to. Get a sense of how you best accomodate everyone early on without power struggles.
2. Ask everyone what their priorities are (the kids, the ex, etc.). What do they just have to do this summer? What’s not so important on their list? This helps everyone understand that they probably won't get everything they want, but also let’s them know what they want is important and was heard.
3. Get your information together. After you've thought about compromises to accomodate everyone start to gather the logisitics on how to make it work. Call the places up and gather more information to see if the plan might work.
4. Don't let your kids make plans without talking to your ex first, and don’t make your ex look like the “bad guy” if the activity doesn’t work out. Be sympathetic, but not apologetic.
5. Put yourself in the other family's shoes. Compromise. If the ex wants to take your kids to the ex-in-laws then let them. It’s just as important as letting the children visit your own family.
6. Propose a plan. This one goes without saying, make a plan and see give an offer. If your ex sense that their desires are taken into consideration they may just accept your offer. So good luck and happy summer.
If there are any legal questions you may have, I encourage you to, please contact my San Jose Divorce Lawyers office. My San Jose Family Lawyer offices assists many people who are going through family law related issues. We have many Affordable San Jose Divorce Lawyer solutions for many different budgets. We help many individuals through this very chaotic period in their life. Proudly serving the following cities, Fremont, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Mountain View, and Santa Clara.
1. Start communicating early. Talk with your ex about things you feel you may want to plan. Find out what they want to do to. Get a sense of how you best accomodate everyone early on without power struggles.
2. Ask everyone what their priorities are (the kids, the ex, etc.). What do they just have to do this summer? What’s not so important on their list? This helps everyone understand that they probably won't get everything they want, but also let’s them know what they want is important and was heard.
3. Get your information together. After you've thought about compromises to accomodate everyone start to gather the logisitics on how to make it work. Call the places up and gather more information to see if the plan might work.
4. Don't let your kids make plans without talking to your ex first, and don’t make your ex look like the “bad guy” if the activity doesn’t work out. Be sympathetic, but not apologetic.
5. Put yourself in the other family's shoes. Compromise. If the ex wants to take your kids to the ex-in-laws then let them. It’s just as important as letting the children visit your own family.
6. Propose a plan. This one goes without saying, make a plan and see give an offer. If your ex sense that their desires are taken into consideration they may just accept your offer. So good luck and happy summer.
If there are any legal questions you may have, I encourage you to, please contact my San Jose Divorce Lawyers office. My San Jose Family Lawyer offices assists many people who are going through family law related issues. We have many Affordable San Jose Divorce Lawyer solutions for many different budgets. We help many individuals through this very chaotic period in their life. Proudly serving the following cities, Fremont, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Mountain View, and Santa Clara.
Why is Divorce Terrifying for Women
Why is divorce so terrifying to women? Well, a recent article I read attempts to speak about this issue. Apparently, the article theorizes that it all goes back to the days when pre-historic man lived in caves. Men hunted and women took care of the children and cooked the food. When a woman’s marriage breaks up, they tend to judge themselves harshly basically because of primal instinct.
The author of the author relates that when she was going through her divorce, she says she felt as if she might die when her husband left. Fear of being left alone was too much. Back in man’s early days, if you weren’t part of a tribe, you were on your own and very likely to die at the hands of nature (i.e. predators, weather, etc.). For the author, being cast out of her comfortable place resonated with her. The strange thing is that according to the article oddly enough, even abusive marriages, can feel like a safe place to some women. According to the author, women feel this way no matter how successful or accomplished they are or how much they recognize that a divorce is necessary.
Women often take responsibility for marriage, for keeping the family together. If the family is separated, they often feel they are failures and that it’s their fault, but that’s just not so.
The reality is that divorce is hard and it’s hard for almost everyone. At times it may seem like you might not make it through to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but you will get there. If it's something that you've thought about or have further questions, you can contact my office to speak with a qualified attorney to assist you with your legal needs.
If there are any legal questions you may have, I encourage you to, please contact my San Jose Divorce Lawyers office. My San Jose Family Lawyer offices assists many people who are going through family law related issues. We have many Affordable San Jose Divorce Lawyer solutions for many different budgets. We help many individuals through this very chaotic period in their life. Proudly serving the following cities, Fremont, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Mountain View, and Santa Clara.
The author of the author relates that when she was going through her divorce, she says she felt as if she might die when her husband left. Fear of being left alone was too much. Back in man’s early days, if you weren’t part of a tribe, you were on your own and very likely to die at the hands of nature (i.e. predators, weather, etc.). For the author, being cast out of her comfortable place resonated with her. The strange thing is that according to the article oddly enough, even abusive marriages, can feel like a safe place to some women. According to the author, women feel this way no matter how successful or accomplished they are or how much they recognize that a divorce is necessary.
Women often take responsibility for marriage, for keeping the family together. If the family is separated, they often feel they are failures and that it’s their fault, but that’s just not so.
The reality is that divorce is hard and it’s hard for almost everyone. At times it may seem like you might not make it through to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but you will get there. If it's something that you've thought about or have further questions, you can contact my office to speak with a qualified attorney to assist you with your legal needs.
If there are any legal questions you may have, I encourage you to, please contact my San Jose Divorce Lawyers office. My San Jose Family Lawyer offices assists many people who are going through family law related issues. We have many Affordable San Jose Divorce Lawyer solutions for many different budgets. We help many individuals through this very chaotic period in their life. Proudly serving the following cities, Fremont, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Mountain View, and Santa Clara.
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