The Issue of Pets and a Divorce

I recently read an article which raises the question of what happens to the family pets once a divorce occurs. The article confrtons the issue as to whether or not pets should be considered children when dealing with divorce. Most states consider pets property like a car or house, and many couples struggle when it comes to agreeing on who will be receiving the family pet.

In the article, the judge ordered joint custody for the animal and they were to share custody due to both parties wanting the dog and being unsure of how to resolve the matter. As divorce rates increase, more couples choose to forego having children, and pets become more a part of the family. Many people even consider their pets children. In this article, a Maryland judge was faced with task of deciding who a couple’s dog would be awarded to. In this instance the judge listened to both sides and decided the fair thing to do is award joint custody of the dog. The outcome then raises the issue of what to do with an already over loaded family court, with more complex custody arrangements for animals. It could be a potential disaster if this line of legal authority continues.

The Real Motivations for Divorce

An article I read today cites some very interesting psychology behind why divorce occurs. The scientists in the article use experiments with rats to determine that when life gets stressful, one partner can scapegoat the other partner as the cause of the stress.

The “scapegoating instinct” as the real reason for divorce according to the article. Often times, when we feel stress in our lives, we take it out on our spouse. Scapegoating is a defense mechanism in the brain that allows us to project our anxious feelings onto others. If the anxious feelings are relieved, it allows the animal to hunt and continue on with their basic functions without the psychological baggage weighing them down.

The scape goating, lends the spouses to think that the grass maybe greener with another spouse and that the early feelings of chemistry were incorrect. The scape goating also leads the spouse to want a flight or flee instinct to remove themselves from the situation.

A scapegoat refers to an innocent person who is blamed for the suffering others. When we criticize our spouses, we tend to believe we are pointing out impartial faults. People with a higher level of anxiety are more likely to overreact and will have a greater tendency to fight-or-flee, which may lead to a down point in the marriage. Letting go of daydreams of the perfect spouse will allow your marriage a better chance at success.

When a spouse does not recognize the anxiety is the reason for these feelings, the baggage will be carried into the second relationship. The second marriage and subsequent marriage has a high rate of divorce. The insight into the psychology of a married person can help to accept your spouse and yourself as you are.

If there are any legal questions you may have, I encourage you to, please contact my San Jose Divorce Lawyers office. My San Jose Family Lawyer offices assists many people who are going through family law related issues. We have many Affordable San Jose Divorce Lawyer solutions for many different budgets. We help many individuals through this very chaotic period in their life. Proudly serving the following cities, Fremont, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Mountain View, and Santa Clara.

Tips for a Friendly Cost Effective Divorce

Many couples who are choosing to end their marriage are doing so amicably. I read an article this last weekend which gives tips for a friendly divorce. In the article the couples because of their children make a choice to keep their relationship friendly to ease the stress for the children. Many couples ending their marriage on a friendlier note are those who have children. A benefit to a friendly divorce is that the couple will save time and money. And the children won’t need to suffer the consequences that come with parents who are constantly arguing during divorce negotiations.

Some of the couples in the article decided to go the route of mediation to make the divorce process less adversarial. The benefit of mediating was the lower cost for the parties in attorney fees. That is an ideal situation, however it's not for everyone. Not every party is able to successfully mediate the divorce and remain on friendly terms. Often times, what one party wants and what another wants is vastly at odds with one another.

Most divorce cases still are handled in the traditional way, with lawyers on each side trying to get the best deal for their client, often through disagreements over custody, child support, and finances. Mediation is one type friendly divorce. Collaboration is another, in which both parties retain their own attorneys but also use experts and work together for a solution. A collaborative divorce involves more people, so it can cost more than a mediated divorce. Mediation has grown more popular over time and in California, mediation is mandatory for contested child custody and visitation.

If there are any legal questions you may have, I encourage you to, please contact my San Jose Divorce Lawyers office. My San Jose Family Lawyer offices assists many people who are going through family law related issues. We have many Affordable San Jose Divorce Lawyer solutions for many different budgets. We help many individuals through this very chaotic period in their life. Proudly serving the following cities, Fremont, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Mountain View, and Santa Clara.