I read a great article today that offers some helpful tips for those who are going through a divorce. The article cites 5 helpful tips to channel your energy into a positive direction when undergoing this emotional event in your life.
Tip #1- Channel positive energy: Start each day with a positive ritual. The article states, it’s easy to let the negative emotions associated with a divorce takeover, but remember that you will get through it. Don’t ask questions you have no control over answering and try to start each day with something positive.
Tip #2- Focus on the love you do have in your life: The article states that instead of focusing on the loss that you perceive that has left your life, instead focus on the love which you already have around. Your family and close friends are there for you and want to help. Sometimes they just don't know how. If it's a shoulder to cry on or a divorce party to celebrate your new found independence, let them know. You might have just lost one of the longest relationships you have ever had, but your family and close friends love you. Try to focus on the strength of these relationships to carry you through.
Tip #3- Call it by another name: The article state that divorce is not a personal failure, so start thinking of your divorce as a new beginning. The divorce can be a new chapter in your life, a new beginning poised with endless possibilities.
Tip #4- Don't lose sight of you: Whatever you might lose during the divorce, don't lose yourself. What do you like about yourself? How would others describe you? Don't compromise who you are and stay true to yourself. It will definitely help you get through the divorce in one piece.
Tip #5- Revamp, rejuvenate, and rebuild: Take time to focus on yourself. You deserve a break. Do something for yourself. Take time to do things that you enjoyed prior to the divorce but never had time. Think about all the things you've wanted to accomplish and now find that you have the time to do.
All of these tips are helpful and the main point is to remain positive throughout and after the divorce process. If there are any legal questions you may have, I encourage you to, please contact my San Jose Divorce Lawyers office. My San Jose Family Lawyer offices assists many people who are going through family law related issues. We help many individuals through this very chaotic period in their life. Proudly serving the following cities, Fremont, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Mountain View, and Santa Clara.
Author's Notes
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Social Networking Affecting Divorce Rates
I read an article today in which social networking sites are being blamed for causing many couples to separate or divorce. The article states that marriage counselors claim sites like Facebook are contributing to separations and divorce as 40-50 somethings attempt to reconnect with childhood sweethearts. A British divorce firm claimed that Facebook was cited in one-fifth of the divorce petitions it processed last year.
The article cited a family relationship expert as saying that one partner may deny their online behavior has been any sort of problem. She also said the lack of research on the effect of online behavior on relationships was surprising, considering the widespread use of social networking.
Another relationship expert said that while the Internet had made it easier to reconnect with lost loves, people ultimately had to take responsibility for their actions.
Reading through some of the comments made by readers of the article I felt most had valid opinions, but I think zoobie555 said it best when they stated, “There are far worse sites that are actually centered around finding extramarital partners, and facebook is just a tool. You could blame phones for breaking up marriages in decades past, email, bars, high school reunions, or even church.”
If you have reached that point where divorce is the only option left. I encourage you to, please contact my San Jose Divorce Lawyers office. My San Jose Family Lawyer offices assists many people who are going through family law related issues. We help many individuals through this very chaotic period in their life. Proudly serving the following cities, Fremont, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Mountain View, and Santa Clara.
The article cited a family relationship expert as saying that one partner may deny their online behavior has been any sort of problem. She also said the lack of research on the effect of online behavior on relationships was surprising, considering the widespread use of social networking.
Another relationship expert said that while the Internet had made it easier to reconnect with lost loves, people ultimately had to take responsibility for their actions.
Reading through some of the comments made by readers of the article I felt most had valid opinions, but I think zoobie555 said it best when they stated, “There are far worse sites that are actually centered around finding extramarital partners, and facebook is just a tool. You could blame phones for breaking up marriages in decades past, email, bars, high school reunions, or even church.”
If you have reached that point where divorce is the only option left. I encourage you to, please contact my San Jose Divorce Lawyers office. My San Jose Family Lawyer offices assists many people who are going through family law related issues. We help many individuals through this very chaotic period in their life. Proudly serving the following cities, Fremont, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Mountain View, and Santa Clara.
Monday, April 12, 2010
The Emotional Toll Taken During Divorce/Dissolution
An often overlooked topic that one goes through during a divorce is the emotional toll that it can take on a person. The emotions that come with a divorce can often be overwhelming. A great article I read covered this very topic.
According to the news story. The idea that failure has occured doesn't get thought through prior to filing. Many couples considering divorce never take into account the idea of being alone and the difficulties it brings. We all know that marriage and maintaining a relationship requires work every single day. The first emotions that people often feel when a marriage ends are a sense of failure. When a marriage does not work out there is a sense of having done something wrong which led to this result. The article encourages its readers to attempt to find solutions to their problems prior to filing, if there is no abuse or alcoholism involved.
The article further reads that, another emotion that one might experience is loneliness. After a divorce many people are by themselves or alone with their children. Your friends whom you used to spend time with as a couple may no longer invite you to come along because of the potential akwardness involved. The article further reads that, after being married for some time, you may not be used to doing things alone and there can often being a feeling of the loss of having someone with whom to share your life. This can be an opportunity to go out and try something your former partner never wanted to do. There are silve linings involved in the process.
There are many things to think about before taking the first step toward divorce and the emotions that follow a divorce should be carefully thought of. Many compare divorce to a death in the family and considering the emotions that come with such stress, it is a rightful comparison.
If you are in the midst of a traumatic divorce or just contemplating it, there are resources available and an empathetic ear. If there is any doubt I would suggest you try marriage counseling to give it another chance to save the marriage. Please contact my San Jose Family Lawyers office. We help many individuals through this very chaotic period in their life. Proudly serving the following cities, Fremont, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Mountain View, and Santa Clara.
According to the news story. The idea that failure has occured doesn't get thought through prior to filing. Many couples considering divorce never take into account the idea of being alone and the difficulties it brings. We all know that marriage and maintaining a relationship requires work every single day. The first emotions that people often feel when a marriage ends are a sense of failure. When a marriage does not work out there is a sense of having done something wrong which led to this result. The article encourages its readers to attempt to find solutions to their problems prior to filing, if there is no abuse or alcoholism involved.
The article further reads that, another emotion that one might experience is loneliness. After a divorce many people are by themselves or alone with their children. Your friends whom you used to spend time with as a couple may no longer invite you to come along because of the potential akwardness involved. The article further reads that, after being married for some time, you may not be used to doing things alone and there can often being a feeling of the loss of having someone with whom to share your life. This can be an opportunity to go out and try something your former partner never wanted to do. There are silve linings involved in the process.
There are many things to think about before taking the first step toward divorce and the emotions that follow a divorce should be carefully thought of. Many compare divorce to a death in the family and considering the emotions that come with such stress, it is a rightful comparison.
If you are in the midst of a traumatic divorce or just contemplating it, there are resources available and an empathetic ear. If there is any doubt I would suggest you try marriage counseling to give it another chance to save the marriage. Please contact my San Jose Family Lawyers office. We help many individuals through this very chaotic period in their life. Proudly serving the following cities, Fremont, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Mountain View, and Santa Clara.
Helping Kids Cope with Divorce in the Classroom
I read a fascinating article about the distress divorce can cause children and the important role some teacher’s are playing in order to help these children cope. Teachers as role models who spend a vast majority of time with the children play an important role in maintaining a sense of stability in their life. Children during a divorce need stability ot feel safe and secure.
Jill Martin, a Kindergarten teacher in Missouri, feels that teachers play a big role in providing stability and she’s just one of many teachers who feel that school can provide an escape for kids who feel stressed at home. Many people never think of the impact teachers have on their children, but in reality children spend the majority of their day at school. She also says the children know what to expect when they get to school and if teachers know ahead of time and they can be partners with the parents and can help the children get through the tough times.
The article states that it’s invaluable to children that both parents be involved in school functions like parent teacher conferences because it can show kids that you care. The teacher says that if she knows a child whose parents are going through a divorce she gives that child more attention because often, behavioral problems associated with divorce stem from a child feeling unloved and not cared about.
According to the University of Missouri Extension program, approximately one of every two divorces in Missouri involves children and that those children are at a greater risk for problems like aggression, depression, lower self-esteem, and poorer school performance. Most children adjust to divorce successfully. However, it’s typical for children to experience distress for one to two years following a divorce. The University of Missouri gives several tips for teachers:
1. Don’t use terms such as “broken home” or “real parent.”
2. Don’t assume that all members of a family have the same last name.
3. Invite non-residential parents to school activities, programs, and field trips.
4. Adapt Mother’s Day or Father’s cards or gifts so that all children feel included.
If you are in the midst of a traumatic divorce, please contact my San Jose Divorce Lawyers office. We help many individuals through this very chaotic period in their life. Proudly serving the following cities, Fremont, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Mountain View, and Santa Clara.
Jill Martin, a Kindergarten teacher in Missouri, feels that teachers play a big role in providing stability and she’s just one of many teachers who feel that school can provide an escape for kids who feel stressed at home. Many people never think of the impact teachers have on their children, but in reality children spend the majority of their day at school. She also says the children know what to expect when they get to school and if teachers know ahead of time and they can be partners with the parents and can help the children get through the tough times.
The article states that it’s invaluable to children that both parents be involved in school functions like parent teacher conferences because it can show kids that you care. The teacher says that if she knows a child whose parents are going through a divorce she gives that child more attention because often, behavioral problems associated with divorce stem from a child feeling unloved and not cared about.
According to the University of Missouri Extension program, approximately one of every two divorces in Missouri involves children and that those children are at a greater risk for problems like aggression, depression, lower self-esteem, and poorer school performance. Most children adjust to divorce successfully. However, it’s typical for children to experience distress for one to two years following a divorce. The University of Missouri gives several tips for teachers:
1. Don’t use terms such as “broken home” or “real parent.”
2. Don’t assume that all members of a family have the same last name.
3. Invite non-residential parents to school activities, programs, and field trips.
4. Adapt Mother’s Day or Father’s cards or gifts so that all children feel included.
If you are in the midst of a traumatic divorce, please contact my San Jose Divorce Lawyers office. We help many individuals through this very chaotic period in their life. Proudly serving the following cities, Fremont, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Mountain View, and Santa Clara.
Friday, April 9, 2010
After the Divorce Judgement What Now?
As soon as judgment divorce papers are issued, you might think it's time to start enjoying life again. An article I recently read says that according to a recent survey it can take an average of 17-18 months to get over a divorce.
The survey revealed that only after a year and half are divorcees really ready to move on. Six of ten people surveyed said the hardest thing to overcome was the sense of failure and 5% of those surveyed said even several years after the divorce they were still trying to come to terms. In total, a fifth said they will never truly get over a divorce and 55 percent said it was the worst thing they had ever gone through. The survey of 4,000 divorcees was carried out by the dating website www.fifties.com, which is caters to those 50 and over.
The survey also revealed startling differences in divorcees' reactions to the news their marriage is officially finished. Although 43 percent felt relieved when their judgment came through, 31 percent were sad that it was over. Another 16 percent even said they felt distraught. The article states that while it might be an average of nearly 18 months before divorcees are totally content, they start feeling better about their life after 16 months. Around this time, it appears that divorcees start dating again. Fifty-eight percent of those surveyed arranged a meeting through friends and twenty-eight percent tried online dating sites. Also, about 49 percent of divorcees would rather meet someone who has had a similar experience. Ultimately, the emotions of those involved in a divorce can seem hard to cope with for what can feel like an eternity. Expect it to take a while for you to feel like your life is back to normal. Please do not give hope when youve gone through a traumatic process like a divorce. There are support groups, there are therapists, and there are a wide amount of things that you can participate in to make you feel like life can move on.
If you are in the midst of a traumatic divorce, please contact my San Jose Family Lawyers office. We help many individuals through this very chaotic period in their life. Proudly serving the following cities, Fremont, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Mountain View, and Santa Clara.
The survey revealed that only after a year and half are divorcees really ready to move on. Six of ten people surveyed said the hardest thing to overcome was the sense of failure and 5% of those surveyed said even several years after the divorce they were still trying to come to terms. In total, a fifth said they will never truly get over a divorce and 55 percent said it was the worst thing they had ever gone through. The survey of 4,000 divorcees was carried out by the dating website www.fifties.com, which is caters to those 50 and over.
The survey also revealed startling differences in divorcees' reactions to the news their marriage is officially finished. Although 43 percent felt relieved when their judgment came through, 31 percent were sad that it was over. Another 16 percent even said they felt distraught. The article states that while it might be an average of nearly 18 months before divorcees are totally content, they start feeling better about their life after 16 months. Around this time, it appears that divorcees start dating again. Fifty-eight percent of those surveyed arranged a meeting through friends and twenty-eight percent tried online dating sites. Also, about 49 percent of divorcees would rather meet someone who has had a similar experience. Ultimately, the emotions of those involved in a divorce can seem hard to cope with for what can feel like an eternity. Expect it to take a while for you to feel like your life is back to normal. Please do not give hope when youve gone through a traumatic process like a divorce. There are support groups, there are therapists, and there are a wide amount of things that you can participate in to make you feel like life can move on.
If you are in the midst of a traumatic divorce, please contact my San Jose Family Lawyers office. We help many individuals through this very chaotic period in their life. Proudly serving the following cities, Fremont, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Mountain View, and Santa Clara.
Alienation of Affection and Suing Other Woman.
I recently read a interesting article where a wife sued the “other woman” in an archaic law called alienation of affection caues of action.
Often times, when a couple separate or divorce there is someone else in the picture.
According to the article seven states allow you to sue the woman or man you believe cause the demise of your marriage.
This very law (known as "alienation of affection") helped a woman win $9,000,000! It was reported that the idea dates back to common law, when a wife was considered property that could be stolen. And although some find this law archaic, the woman, Cynthia Shackelford, was able to recover $5 million in compensatory damages and $4 million in punitive damages.
An interesting twist is that the husband, Allan Shackelford, claims Cynthia wanted to divorce him at least two years before he began a relationship with Anne Lundquist. However, Cynthia states that didn’t believe her husband was cheating on her because she trusted him and he had told her he was just friends with Anne Lundquist, the other woman. Cynthia says she sued Lundquist because, “she's the one that came in between us as far as her luring ways, and which I had plenty of proof from e-mails, phone records, spending, that she alienated him from me. She used work and other ways to get in and get friendly with him, and it's like those Lifetime movies or whatever that you see that she just worked her way." Lundquist has said she doesn't have $9 million to pay Cynthia Shackelford and is currently appealing the decision.
Fortunately in California we have a no fault divorce policy. That means that the divorce can happen for any reason and there is no fault attributed to the divorce. Even if a party cheats and flaunts that cheating there is nothing legally that can happen due to the cheating.
If you have a divorce or family law issue, please feel free to contact my Santa Clara County Divorce Law offices. Proudly serving the following cities, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Mountain View, and Santa Clara.
Often times, when a couple separate or divorce there is someone else in the picture.
According to the article seven states allow you to sue the woman or man you believe cause the demise of your marriage.
This very law (known as "alienation of affection") helped a woman win $9,000,000! It was reported that the idea dates back to common law, when a wife was considered property that could be stolen. And although some find this law archaic, the woman, Cynthia Shackelford, was able to recover $5 million in compensatory damages and $4 million in punitive damages.
An interesting twist is that the husband, Allan Shackelford, claims Cynthia wanted to divorce him at least two years before he began a relationship with Anne Lundquist. However, Cynthia states that didn’t believe her husband was cheating on her because she trusted him and he had told her he was just friends with Anne Lundquist, the other woman. Cynthia says she sued Lundquist because, “she's the one that came in between us as far as her luring ways, and which I had plenty of proof from e-mails, phone records, spending, that she alienated him from me. She used work and other ways to get in and get friendly with him, and it's like those Lifetime movies or whatever that you see that she just worked her way." Lundquist has said she doesn't have $9 million to pay Cynthia Shackelford and is currently appealing the decision.
Fortunately in California we have a no fault divorce policy. That means that the divorce can happen for any reason and there is no fault attributed to the divorce. Even if a party cheats and flaunts that cheating there is nothing legally that can happen due to the cheating.
If you have a divorce or family law issue, please feel free to contact my Santa Clara County Divorce Law offices. Proudly serving the following cities, Milpitas, Los Gatos, Cupertino, Mountain View, and Santa Clara.
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