Financial Counseling Pre Marriage

A great article regarding financial questions that couples should ask prior to getting married. Everybody knows that divorce is a unfortunate reality when one enters the union of marriage. According to the news story the average rate of divorce in this country is 45%. Divorce can be one of the most ruinous financial actions a couple can take. The financial consequences can be severe with a hotly contested divorce. The rate drops for people on their first marriage and then for college educated folks with similar religions.

Many people have heard of pre marital counseling to assess the couples compatibility with the realities of a marriage. Not many people have heard of pre marital financial counseling. The story recommends couples discuss several talks prior to getting married. 1) The parties are asked to discuss their parents financial ancestry. What type of financial habits did their parents have and what did their learn about money growing up. 2) What type of credit score they have, which is a reflection of their current financial health. Do they make late payments, do they over spend. Will this impact their ability to purchase a house in the future 3) Which party will take control of the household finances. It is not difficult if one person takes over and the other acquiesces, but if there is a power struggle from two people who are so used to handling their financial matters, it will bound to bring up conflict. 4) Finally, affluence, what type of affluence is the party hoping to achieve. If one party wants to be a multi millionaire and retire before 40 and the other is happy in a quiet middle class living, there will be conflict.

If you are unlucky to find yourself in a divorce please contact my Campbell San Jose Divorce Lawyer office. I serve Santa Clara County Family Law and the surrounding bay area.

Co-Parenting for Divorced Families

I have written before about the benefits of co-parenting classes. I found another great article touting the benefits of co-parenting class for saving the family relationship during a divorce. The family in the article were too busy being angry at each other to notice that their children were acting out and becoming depressed by the constant battling. They went from a period of restraining order against one another to now having family movie nights or going to soccer games together. The change has been dramatic.

The co parenting class teaches the parents to parent when they are no longer living together. The change is drastic enough that parents often need advice on how to navigate the challenges of the process. Another big thing the classes teach is to stop criticizing the other parent in front of the children. When a parent bad mouths the other parent in front of the children it creates a situation where the children feel as if they need to take sides. The creates much tension for the children and leads to behavioral problems. The article gave 4 tips for co-parenting. 1) Be respectful: Put your own feelings aside and remember that treating your ex well is the same as treating your child well. 2) Support your child's relationship with the other parent. 3) Consistently put your child first. It's not their fault. 4) Get some support yourself. The best gift you can give your kids is to be healthy.

I am a San Jose Divorce Lawyer, if you have any questions please contact my office. I also practice as a Sunnyvale Family Law Attorney.

Parenting Courses and Divorce, Family Law

I found a great article today about parenting classes in divorce custody battles. The article stresses how it really changed the dynamics of a couples child after the parenting course. The child originally went from being scared to being calm again during the custody visitation.

Some of the things that the parenting course teaches the parent is, children must remain children and not act as adults in the relationship. Another important lesson is that the child needs both parents in their life. One parent should never use the child as a battle ground to hurt the other parent.

During divorces in the 60’s and 70’s there was often a standard custody arrangement. Custody went to the mother and fathers visited every other weekend. That was the standard arrangement then. Now with the increased focus on cooperation and parties finding greater time with the children, the arrangements are limitless.

In Santa Clara County parenting classes are often ordered in cases of domestic violence. But if there is a dispute over custody the parties first step is to go to parenting orientation prior to mediation. More extensive parenting courses will come into place upon request or more of a court finding for a need for them. If you have any San Jose Family Lawyer questions, I am an attorney that practices in Santa Clara County. I am a Milpitas Divorce Lawyer.

Alienation of Affection Lawsuits In Conservative States

I read a really great article about North Carolina changing their law books to deny the filing of a lawsuit called Alienation of affection against a third party during a married couples formal separation. Some critics argue that this will make the one year separation period required in North Carolina moot, which originally was intended to allow married couples a chance to reconcile. If during the formal separation the party is allowed to essentially “cheat” without consequence then that makes the requirement of a one year separation unnecessary some argue. The alienation of affection lawsuit allowed the aggrieved party to sue a third party for causing the breakdown of their marriage. Often the victor was able to get six figure damages. Other people argue that the cheating on the spouse is a symptom of the breakdown of the relationship not the cause of the breakdown.

Alienation of affection is an antiquated lawsuit that still exists in the more conservative states. In California fortunately we have a no fault divorce here. Which is a more modern concept. In California it is considered a no fault divorce state. What no fault means is that whatever the reason for the breakdown of the relationship, be it cheating or loss of love, there is no fault assigned to the party for the breakdown of the relationship. The no fault means there are no repercussions in spousal support or other areas of law to the “faulty” person.

I am a San Jose Divorce Lawyer practicing in Santa Clara County. If you have any Sunnyvale Family Lawyer needs please contact my office.